E32: Is Resilience Always a Good Thing?

People always tell me how resilient I am but is that always a good thing?

In this weeks episode we explore this more...

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Transcript

Hello & welcome to Dream Business Dream Life, helping ambitious people, like you, to grow a business they love.

 I’m Emma Hine and I’m on a mission to show you that it is possible to grow a business without sacrificing your life.

 Having experienced the rollercoaster of making millions of pounds, but feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and totally unsuccessful, I know first-hand the importance of growing a business on your terms.

 On this podcast I'm going to share with you lots of tips and advice that will enable you to grow a business that gives you the financial freedom to live the life of your dreams while sharing with you some inspirational growth stories from other fabulous business owners.

 Ready to live the dream? Then let’s get stuck in…

Hello & Welcome to today’s episode of Dream Business Dream Life.

I am told constantly being told how resilient I am.

 I am asked constantly how I keep going despite all the things life keeps throwing at me.

I am constantly being told that I am an inspiration to many because despite all the knockbacks I still keep showing up, I still growing and I still keep smiling.

And today I want to get a little bit open and honest about this as I kind of feel like a bit of a fraud if I’m totally honest…as the truth is yes I do keep showing up, yes I do keep coming back and growing and smiling but I don’t necessarily believe this is always a good thing and I don’t want people to be striving to be as resilient as me without knowing a little more about the behind the scenes.

Now let’s be totally transparent here to succeed in business, or in anything for that matter, we need to be resilient, we need to be able to take things on the chin and to be able to pick ourselves after something goes wrong up and go again.

But we also need to allow ourselves to heal, to reflect and to be honest when we feel pretty crappy.

We need to know when it is time to slow down, to rest and to get the help and support we need to heal from the things that life, and business, throws in our way.

This isn’t failure, this isn’t not being strong or resilient, this is being human! 

My downfall has always been to just keep going, to keep busy, to smile and don’t let anyone see any cracks in my armour.

Historically I had always seen it as a sign of weakness if I admitted I was not feeling ok or if I was struggling to do something. 

For some reason I thought that I always had to be the strong one, the one to hold everyone together, to be there for everyone and to just keep smiling even if I felt like I was ready to crumble. 

And all those years of practice in my old business meant I got pretty damn good at it…and that is a really hard habit to break.

And so although I may look like the most resilient person ever and I may constantly keep coming back for more it does not mean I am always ok.

So every year on my vision board I write ‘get support when it is needed’ 

And you know what I always say about vision boards is they are great, but you have to do the uncomfortable things to make them happen and guess what I kept not doing those uncomfortable things which meant I did not ask for the support, I just kept going.

So I guess what I am saying is I may look super resilient and yes I absolutely am but that does not mean I am feeling great all of the time, it does not mean I have all my ducks in a row and it certainly doesn’t mean I don’t need support too. 

What I don’t want is for people to think that being resilient is about pretending to be ok, being resilient is about actually getting all the help and support you need to work through the emotional pain and suffering...it is about actually moving forwards not brushing it under the carpet and hoping it does not creep back out.

Am I resilient? Absolutely I am but sometimes I am just showing up because that is what I do. 

If something is not working for you, it is not being resilient to just keep going for fear of change; resilience is about making the changes and then going again.

If something in your life happens that knocks you for six, then it is not being resilient to just carry on like it never happened, resilience is about getting the support you need to enable you to learn to adapt to this new normal. The same goes for your business, if something unexpected happens…get the support and work out how you can overcome it…go through it not around it. That is resilience.

Resilience does not mean you have to accept what you have; it means you have to work out how to change it and make it happen.

 Resilience does not come at any cost.

 Am I resilient? Absolutely I am but I don’t always get it right, and when I get it wrong I own it and change it.

 So let me share with you some of things I have implemented into my business this year that have helped me to be more resilient, and by resilient, I mean properly resilient not just masking the shitty days.

People; yep right at the top I put my community, the people I surround myself with both in work and at home. I have no time or headspace for energy zappers, for people that expect me to be perfect or for people that are mean and unkind. 

The people who are in my world are kind, supportive and accept me for who I am and I give them exactly the same in return. This does not mean we are all the same; it just means we have mutual respect for each other, our beliefs and our personal choices. But what we do all have are very similar values.

 Self care; I have had to accept that I need to allow myself to be exhausted, poorly and lazy at times too. I have realised that I cannot always be going full throttle, and that business actually gets easier if you slow down sometimes. 

 I have learnt that it is ok to prioritise me and that people won’t think I’m selfish or not nice. This for me is one I struggle with most as I am a workaholic and I get bored sitting around but remember you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable if you want the growth. So I have to make this happen and I encourage you to do the same.

 Cash flow; building a business that gives you financial freedom is key, so think about ways you can bring some sort of recurring revenue into your business, money that will come in even if you are not selling. The more stable your business is the easier it will feel for you to adapt and change. And to be resilient you need to be ready to adapt and change quickly.

 And finally, mindset; yes you need a growth mindset to grow your business, you need to see challenges as opportunities and you need to focus on the things that are moving you towards you goals but you also need to know when it is time to stop, to change and to move.  For me practicing gratitude and journaling have been my go to for the last few years and I honestly believe my growth stems from yes hard work and strategy but also from really appreciating what I have.

 Resilience is just not about coping with a situation; it is about finding a way to move forward.

If you are not resilient your business, and life will consume you but if you are too resilient it may well do the same.

So, making sure you are solving the problem and not just putting a plaster on it is where you want to be.

 Crack that and then you are super resilient and you will get so much growth in life and of course in business too

 Thank you for listening; see you next time…
You have been listening to Dream Business Dream Life with Emma Hine. If you want to know more about how I can help you to build your dream business and your dream life, then visit my website emmehine.co.uk. Until next time remember you really can have it all!