E21: Reiki Changed my Life Forever with Niki Kinsella

Niki was surrounded by narcissism, drugs & alcohol from a young age which became her norm too, she suffered with anxiety and was an avid people pleaser.

Then one day she discovered Reiki which was the start of her spiritual journey to a happy and fulfilled life.

In this episode we explore this journey, the up’s the down’s and everything in between.

Trigger Warning: We do discuss terminal illness & death during this episode.

Niki Kinsella is an Intuitive spiritual and business coach for women wanting a holistic approach to moving through their blocks.

Her speciality is helping woo-loving female entrepreneurs to remove limiting beliefs, get out of their own way, feel fucking amazeballs and smash the shizzle out of their goals in a way that sets their soul and business on fire.

Niki combines spirituality, mindset work, and business coaching to empower female entrepreneurs to overcome their limiting beliefs and emotional blocks to do the things THEY want to do without giving a fuck what other people think

Niki's Links:

https://www.nikikinsella.com
https://www.instagram.com/nikikinsella
https://www.facebook.com/nikikinsella

Want to connect? Find me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamemmahine

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-hine

Website:  https://www.emmahine.co.uk

You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@EmmaHineStrategy

Transcript

Hello & welcome to Dream Business Dream Life, helping ambitious people, like you, to grow a business they love. 

I’m Emma Hine and I’m on a mission to show you that it is possible to grow a business without sacrificing your life.

Having experienced the rollercoaster of making millions of pounds, but feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and totally unsuccessful, I know first-hand the importance of growing a business on your terms. 

On this podcast I'm going to share with you lots of tips and advice that will enable you to grow a business that gives you the financial freedom to live the life of your dreams while sharing with you some inspirational growth stories from other fabulous business owners.

 Ready to live the dream? Then let’s get stuck in…

 Hello and welcome to today's episode of Dream Business, Dream Life. Today I'm joined by the amazing Nikki Kinsella. Nikki is an intuitive spiritual and business coach for women. She combines spirituality, mindset work, and business coaching to empower female entrepreneurs to overcome their limiting beliefs and emotional blocks to do the things they want to do without giving a hoot what other people's think.

She's an amazing human. I'm delighted to be chatting with her today. So hello, Nikki. It is great to have you here. 

Oh, thanks for having me. That sounds dead good, that, doesn't it? It's like, who's she talking about? Pretty 

impressive, isn't it, when somebody else says what you do? Pretty impressive.  That's you, that's you.

And there is so, so much more for you to share with us. So, let's dive straight in and take us back. Tell us your growth story.  Okay, are you sitting comfortably? I'm sitting, the answer's supposed to be no, isn't it there? I'm not 

sitting comfortably, but I 

am.  

It depends who you're talking to, doesn't it? Yeah.

Um, so I'll go back right to the beginning because there's been a few, a few bumpy parts to my life and it'll explain why. There's um, Yeah, things have happened the way they have. So I was born into a narcissistic, um,  environment. Me, me nan split me mum and dad up and then shamed me mum for being a single parent.

So I was born into sort of walking on eggshells. So that was like my norm from being a tiny little human. Um, fast forward to going to school, the bullies picked up on this and I was bullied the whole way through my primary school by this one girl. It's not a sob story, it does get better. Yeah. Um,  high school was okay.

My mum and dad divorced. My mum went out with someone who was really, really abusive on all levels. Um,  and that affected us all quite a lot because she, she wasn't there for us as we were growing up because she was just trying to stay safe. So, you know, when you look back and you reflect on the things and you think, Oh my God, that was really bad.

But you look at what your parents were actually going through at the time. And, you know, you can sort of not justify the behavior, but you're like, Oh my God, that's totally why. She was behaving the way she was because she was just trying to cope in her own way. So, um, when I was 19 I met my very own narcissist and married him when I was 21. 

Got love bombed to death, bought all sorts, told was the best thing since sliced bread. And then, um,  well, you know how it is, you get, um,  whatever you're saying is stupid and don't sing, you can't sing, um,  And, and often we'd be out sort of like with friends and he'd be like, we're going and we're just going and I'd be like, well, why are we going?

You know what you've done, you know what you've done. And I didn't, I honestly didn't know what I'd done. And for days he wouldn't speak to me. Um, but that was a behavior that me, Nan used to do when I was little. If I was naughty, she'd ignore me. So this has been like a bit of a trigger throughout my life and I'm glad I can see it now.

Bull. It really, if someone didn't reply to something or they ignored me, it would really like kick off my anxiety. Um,  so that carried on for quite a few years. Um, when I was 25, I managed to escape. I met like the love of my life.  Came into the bank, asked for a loan, ended up with a little bit more, but it was just someone that was interested in me.

He liked me. He was, it just made me feel really safe and he was smiling and happy. And there was. There was just so many, I could, I could bore you with the other details but for anyone that's been in a narcissistic relationship you know that  you don't know what to say because it's not safe to speak and it doesn't matter what you do it's not right and everything's always your fault and you just sort of sit in for yeah waiting to see what mood they come home in um and that completely shifted.

So,  met Mikey when I was 25, escaped, but I was told at this time that I couldn't, I couldn't have children. I've been trying for four years to have children, um, and very unexpectedly, one came along.  And it was the thing that I wanted the most in the world. Um, but it was still, it was still really difficult because there was a lot of people pleasing tendencies still happening.

I'd I just carried on behaving the way that I was behaving, um, with my ex, so just doing everything, I'll do that, I'll do this, I'll do that, and of course he was like, this is fucking brilliant, you know, I'll just like, let her do whatever, I'll let her do everything, because she's obviously a superwoman, but I wasn't inside, I was really struggling. 

I'd also picked up,  A coping mechanism from, I think from when I was about 18, 19. Um, drugs and alcohol. I think it was a bit earlier than that actually. I think I started drinking when I was about 13. Um, saving me dinner money and buying a bottle of vodka and drinking it straight in the park on a Friday.

Not remembering how I got home. So that, but everyone in my family was a big drinker. So it didn't seem like it was anything. I knew I shouldn't be drinking because I was young. But I'd watched my whole family just, you know, drink as a, you know, my mum reached for a glass and my nan had a martini every night and my granddad was on ten and super and stuff like that.

So it was always a big part of,  of my life. Um, and then it became the weekend was sort of party Friday, maybe not go to bed till Sunday, but then  the whole week I was numb.  And I didn't need to deal with anything because I wasn't really functioning properly until like Wednesday, Thursday, when my anxiety had come back because what goes up must come down.

So I ended up with anxiety, um, depression, panic attacks really badly towards the end to the point where I couldn't leave the house.  Um, and then I'd always really been into spirituality and like self help and self development and, um, you know, energy healing and crystals, but I was told it was a weirdo. 

So, in my first marriage, any book that I tried to pick up to do any sort of self development, what are you doing that for? Put that in the bin, that's a load of shit. So,  when I was allowed to sort of delve back into that, it felt like, I don't know if you've ever done anything, and it feels like a memory,  but you've never done it before.

Have you ever had that? When you've that déjà 

vu moment. 

Yeah, yeah. Cause I know this, so like when I very first started Reiki, I thought it was absolutely bonkers what she was saying. So I did my Reiki training when I was 33, I think. And then she was like, we're all energy and everything's connected.  And, um, I was like, what the fuck is she talking about? 

Like,  but I went home and I did my homework and I started putting my hands on myself and I could feel,  I could feel a difference and I could feel a shift. And then I started having regular Reiki and that was helping me to, um, bring things to the surface and let things out and there was fucking loads, so. 

But over time, it started to make me feel better. And then I became attuned in Reiki so that I could help other people with the way that it was helping me. So that was the first sort of starting point for me of, um,  like a different coping mechanism. I knew I couldn't carry on anymore. I wasn't happy. And I knew what it was that was making me ill.

And it was the drugs and the alcohol, but that was my coping mechanism. So I needed to find a different one. So Reiki found me. at the school gate, bumped into an old friend, found her on Facebook and she was doing Reiki achievements and that was how the journey started. But I can remember doing it and putting my hands on this lady and me Reiki's just come on as I'm talking and I was like, oh my god, like, I've done this before and I got goose pimples and all my hair was standing up and I was just like,  And I fell in love with it and because  from then, everything that I trained in or did like, I became a meditation coach, I became a yoga teacher, um, I did shamanic healing, all the things that I've,  that have helped me, I've trained in to help other people because I think we always need to go first, don't we?

So we can sort of share from that space. And I know now that the more shit we've been through, everything happens for a reason so that we can be what we are. More compassionate as we do heal or when we, when we start to heal and we're always a work in progress, but  so we started with me, Reiki started to do yoga because me Reiki teacher was doing yoga and I was like, well, I'll have a go with that. 

Yoga got me sober. It stopped me panic attacks.  I was able, uh, just one day I went to the cupboard and my tablets fell out and I was like, Oh shit. And I haven't taken them for nine days and I haven't even noticed because the breathing and the not concentrating on anything, but the way my body was moving and how I was feeling and, and then doing Reiki on myself, all of that was just helping me to feel safer in myself and ground myself and start to realize that like I mattered. 

as much as everybody else. Um, and it's really hard when you start to unblock your throat chakra when it's been blocked your whole life because people are like, who the fuck do you think you are? And why are you saying all these things now? And you're like, I don't like that. And they're like, what do you mean you don't like that?

You've always made a brekkie on a Sunday morning, why is it my turn?  Just little things, but  So, started On my Reiki and yoga journey and then, um, my biological dad, really sick. Um, it was bizarre actually how it happened. He, he was, uh, he rode motorbikes and he got a little cut on his leg that ulcerated.

And then it went into his liver, his liver failed, he had to have a transplant. And then he ended up with an autoimmune disease that was just shutting parts of his body down. So,  over a period of nine months, he'd gone from being this like really, really sick,  Excuse me, life and soul of the party, sort of, um, I think he was a sound engineer going around to all the musical festivals in Germany where he lived to be in this little frail, like, all his hair would fall out and his eyes had gone from like this really rich chocolate shiny brown to greg, and he was hooked up to all these machines, um, He had a colostomy bag, he had a tracheotomy  and he was just, but he was so happy to see me when I went over to see him.

I went like the week before he passed away  and the doctors were like, I don't know how he's here. Do not know how he's here. But I think he'd waited for me to go over and see him to say goodbye. And that was just really lovely. We were talking about how when he got out, when he was better, he'd eat steak because he couldn't eat.

Yeah. And he 

was like, what would you eat? And he was like, mushrooms with steak and pepper sauce and ooh. And we were laughing saying now, cause his legs didn't work. Like we'd have to put him in a backpack and carry him up the stairs.  So just really, you know, gorgeous conversations. And then, um, the week after I got a phone call to say it passed away.

And I don't know if you've ever lost anybody. Like, close to you like that, but it's such a weird feeling when one of your parents goes. It's like a cord's been cut, and there's like part of you just flapping around in the ether and you're like, Oh,  so I didn't realize how much that would affect me, but it shoved a rocket up my arse.

It was the start of me going, Oh my God, he was only 57.  And I was like, I really need to  get my shit together. And I can remember coming home and saying to my mum,  don't you be bloody going anywhere and she's like i'm not going anywhere i'm going the maldives and i'm going this and blah blah and then six months later i was leaving the house with daisy she was only about three i think and um my mum screeched up in the car and my mum was like the most careful driver in the world she had this little black horse and i was like He was sat in our bed and it was me mum and she got out,  excuse me, and she sat on the wall and she just put her head in her hands and started crying and  I was like what's the matter and she couldn't speak and I was like who's died like what you know I didn't I couldn't figure out what was going on um. 

And she'd had this pain in her shoulder and this cough for months and she'd been going back to the doctors and they'd been saying to her, oh you've pulled your shoulder working because she was a waitress and um, oh you've got a nasal drip when she was waking up with water in her mouth.  Yeah. And it turns out she had  all these holes in her left lung,  um, like really big.

And they were sending her for all these tests, like urgent tests. She'd been referred to the cancer clinic. And  so fast forward two months, all these tests, some came back, we had to go again. And it was all a big hoo ha and just the whole waiting  for a diagnosis is like the worst thing in the world, isn't it?

Every day is like a year long.  And the day we were going for our results, I was like, right, put me, put me lucky top on, we'll put my flowers on. And I was like, come on mum, we all had crystals. And,  and when we got in the room, the Macmillan nurse was sat there  and my mum just looked at me.  And I was like, it's okay, it's okay.

And she sat down and the oncologist was like, hi, you know, I'm really sorry. Um, it's stage four terminal cancer and it's this. And I was just like, and I could see my mum looking at me.  I'm sorry. No, 

you're making me go. I heard your story for the first time. Um, it was, um, be inspired when you did back in September, 2021.

You got me then you've got me again.  

You can just see her little face, like, she had big brown eyes and she was just like looking at me.  And I was trying to listen to what the oncologist said, but she sounded like, you know, the teacher of Charlie Brown. So we left and my mum just was like in pure shock, didn't say a word or anything.

I got given all the leaflets.  We went out and we found like this corridor and we just hugged and cried for about 10 minutes  and there was people walking past and we just, it was like, it was just me and her.  And I was like, listen, terminal doesn't mean  the end term. People live with terminal cancer for like years and years and years and years.

But my mom had heard the word terminal cancer and her mindset, just what she just went into pure despair, fear. Um, You know, we were looking into all different alternatives for it and she had immunotherapy first and that worked for six months. It was shrinking.  Um, the side effects were quite icky off that and then it stopped working and she, it was growing.

Um,  I mean, mum's husband lived in Egypt at the time and because of different circumstances we were able to bring him over so we have fundraised and we got enough money to pay for his visa and he came over but it was like when he came as well she felt like she could just sort of surrender and lean back um  and it wasn't working she had one round of chemo and her bowel started bleeding and everything was just it was too painful for us so she said i'm not i'm not doing it i'm just gonna This is my journey.

She sat me down on the bed. This is my journey. Um, I'm, I'm not having any more treatment. I'm just going to let it take course. And I was like, no.  And she was like, no, it's honestly, I'm and, and she'd really like come to terms with, I'm not doing that. I'll just let it sort of happen. And she was like, passes me jewellery box. 

And I was like, why? She's like,  because I want you to pick your own jewellery. I was  like, fuck off.  I was like, I'm not doing it. She was like, no, please. She said, I want to give you, I want to be the one to give you what you want. I don't want it to be passed to you when I'm gone. She's like, so she fucking made me sit there, whinging my face off, picking all my favourite bits of her jewellery,  which was really beautiful.

And it's one of those moments that I'll remember forever. But  she showed me how to be brave.  And I've got Surrender tattooed on my wrist because  she, she really just leant back and was like, it's okay, it's okay. And you know, through, she, she ended  her life with such grace because she was just like loved every day.

Have you seen that beautiful flower out my window? And  I can remember when we got, she'd been really poorly and they were, the hospital were trying to give her um, a colonoscopy and I was like, she's on chemo, she doesn't need a colonoscopy. So we got the  Macmillan nurses and they managed to get us a space in the hospice and I can remember her going in her little woolly hat,  going to the hospice and she was grey  because she'd not been able to eat or anything.

When we got to the hospice, they gave her an infusion of fluids and something else and she sat in the bed  and they'd give her a piece of cake and some quiche and she was fucking buzzing. She was like I want to die here.  I was like, what did you just say?  But she was honestly so at peace with everything.

She was like, no, I'm gonna, and she did.  We, she came out for a little bit and it was just too much that she needed 24 hour care in the end. She was on two syringe drivers and obviously, you know, end of life. It was just, unbearable, but she was where she wanted to be. She was taken the best care of, but I can remember  going in the day she passed away, just looking at it and thinking,  how the fuck has that happened?

Like  she didn't get to go the Maldives. She didn't get to get this new BMW she wanted. She was 61  and it was like  there was nothing else in the world except just Me and this moment going, fucking hell, who's going to help me now? You know, who am I going to go to if I need something? And I was like, right. 

And I sort of like, dusted myself off and was like, it's going to be me. Like I've got to, if I need to do anything or make any changes, I've got to do it. And I was like, but I'm going to take everybody with me.  So my  journey started with like helping other people through grief as well. I did, um, yoga for cancer.

So we started doing yoga for people who had cancer and helping their families. And then, um, it just, when lockdown happened, that was really when I had to surrender because. I would, I'd have my own little studio and I was doing yoga and meditation and Reiki and it was all gorgeous and fully booked and then lockdown sort of  shoved me into the online world  but I felt so trapped and I couldn't do this and I couldn't do that and I couldn't and then I said hang on a minute I need to take back the power  what can I do?

And I can remember it like clear as day sitting in the garden in the sun crying just on my own in the garden with my face away from the window so no one would come and bother me because I just wanted to cry and I just felt like my mum had gone you know my business had gone and I was just fucking what can I do and then I was like this little voice was like what can you do  and I said what can I do and I was like right and then  the online journey just started from there and I started sharing things that I loved that had helped me.

To feel more connected and understand my energy more and have the tools to manage the stress and the anxiety and just love yourself more because there's oh my mom always used to say there's only one year when I'd be like whatever but  everything that she used to say to me All started flooding back.

You know, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. Things happen for a reason. There's only one you. And it's just that empowerment of like,  I know what it's like to feel trapped, lost, alone, scared, all of the things. And I want to help other women to realise that they're fucking amazing. And there's only one them and whatever they want to do, they can in whatever way they want.

But they need to look at what is their version of happiness. And it's their version of success because it's so noisy in the online space. And you know, everyone's version of this has to be and gets to be different, but it's about  connecting and going inwards first. And that's where the feminine energy guide came from because I didn't, I didn't have any. 

Um, I was always pushing. She used to say to me, will you sit down for a minute? You're like a blue arse fly. I mean, like,  I couldn't stop. I couldn't sit down. I was too anxious. And it felt like if I was sitting down, I was being lazy. And  so  leaning back and slowing down and listening and going inwards and being able to trust myself, I started making amazing decisions.

That will lighten me up  and as I was lighting up, I was able to help other people to light up as well. And I was like, this is fucking brilliant. So that is my mission now with, because I've recently franchised is to create a sisterhood of heart led women that want to change the world through holistic and spiritual.

Modalities and practices and just help more people help more people.  

I love that. I absolutely love that. And you know what I loved about, I love your journey. I think it's amazing what you've gone through. It shows your resilience and it definitely shows that the universe throws things at you for a reason, doesn't it?

As hard as they are at the time, things happen for a reason. And, and you've obviously taken those reasons and done something with them, which is amazing. Um, but you said that you sat in that garden looking away from the window and you said, what can I do? And I think that statement is super, super powerful because I think we often sit and think about what we can't do, what we shouldn't do, what's wrong to do, what we're not capable of doing.

We think of all of the things that are in our way, whereas that was a really positive statement that says. What can I do?  And you then, because you've came at that from a positive perspective, from a powerful perspective, it's enabled you to open the world to, I can change lives,  you know, I can do things that are going to change people's lives because I'm going to change mine and then that is going to have a knock on effect on other people.

So I absolutely love that statement and I think that's a definite massive takeaway for everybody listening. Think about what can I do?  And I think the other thing that I would love to talk about more, um, because we are so, so aligned with this was, is around, um, you know, your version of success, because as you know, that's exactly what I talk about.

I do it from a completely different perspective than you do it, Nikki, but we both come at that angle of.  You have to know what you want first. You have to know what success looks like for you to enable you to go and, you know, find that success. And I think you said something right early on it. And I couldn't tell your exact words because.

Hey, my menopausal brain doesn't work that way, but you said something, um, along the lines of, I always talk about it being a journey and it's, it's about enjoying the steps that you're taking to get you there as well, isn't it? Rather than just focusing on this  end game. Um,  so yeah. So tell us a little bit more about this though.

So, so I mean, there's so many points in your journey, isn't there, where you could say that was your turning point, you know, when, when, when Mikey, is that right? Is that his name? Yeah. When he walked into that, um, into the bank, that was point one, wasn't it? Where your life started to change because you suddenly saw something in you.

He saw something in you that you didn't see and brought that out of you somehow. So that was obviously one point, you know, you've had other points.  And in terms of, you know, you losing your dad, I mean, what a beautiful moment, you know, those last moments with your dad, that beautiful, beautiful story to share, but that has helped you to learn so, so much.

And then with your mom, I think that was probably, you know, they say the cherry on the top, that's completely the wrong word to use, but it was the cherry on the top in the sense that  when you lose somebody so close to you, and as you know, I know this personally, um,  It really does make you reflect on life and I think as much as sometimes we say that, you know, we're doing what we want to do, we're doing it the way we want to do it.

I think you realize that sometimes the small things are the things that matter. Those teeny little things, the memories that you're making along the way, you know, how much you're enjoying your life, the impact you're having on other people. And as you said, bringing all the people with you.  Losing somebody really opens your eyes to something completely, completely different, doesn't it?

Oh, God, yeah. It makes you appreciate Sorry. No problem.  Um,  sorry. It really makes you look for every little glimmer in every day because And again, what is success? Like everyone is here because they want to be happy. Like you say to anyone what you want, like, I want to be happy. So, you know, health, wealth, and happiness, they're sort of like the three things aren't they?

But  if, if we can't appreciate the little things, you know, I'm a big believer in like the law of attraction and energy and everything. And if we can't appreciate the little things, like I'm sitting looking at some beautiful flowers that someone bought me for my birthday. And one of them sticking right out at the top and it's a big purple one, and it's beautiful.

And. That makes me go, oh, I love that flower. You know, and like, I've just had some gorgeous breakfast and then I thought, fuck it, I'm gonna have some gingernut biscuits with my cup of tea. So I've just had like a pudding after my breakfast because I wanted some tea. And that's made me happy as well. And it's like looking around at everything you've got  instead of everything you haven't got.

And it's just those little reframes.  But the whole, What I love helping people to do is catching themselves when they're in that moment because people don't know it. Their inner voice, their inner bitch is normally so loud and so big. She rules the show, so when you can catch yourself sort of  chatting shit to yourself, like you're not good enough, you're fat, you're ugly, uh, what I haven't got,  like energy attracts like energy.

You're just going to attract more shit. You're going to feel worse. Bad things are going to. It's sort of been magnetized to you almost, but if you start shifting and looking for the good things and the little moments of gratitude, like I can see about a hundred things just looking that way I can be grateful for.

And I was listening to something that Joe Dispenza was saying about gratitude and how it  actually affects us on an internal physical level, because we create new neural pathways or There was a bit more to it than that but we create our own immune system as well by being grateful our body gives off positive little, all our cells jump up and down and they're like yay!

So they work harder because overproduction of cortisol, which is the stress hormone, actually shuts our cells down. So when we're sad or depressed or this is why we get sick all the time because our cells are like this, I'm applying. 

Yeah.  For me, it's like, I had never practiced gratitude. I'd never done any of that type of stuff until, um, it would have been in 2021.

When I first walked, when I first walked away from my other business, um, I sat there and I thought, what do I do now? You know, I hated that. Don't want that life. I was in that exact moment. My, my inner bitch was, was a proper bitch. You know, she was telling me I was incapable. I was rubbish. I, all I did was make mistakes.

I was bad with money. I was this, this, I was all the bad things. There was zero, anything about me that was a positive thing back in 2021. Um, So I sat there and I thought, what can I do? What can I do? And I started doing a bit of research, as you do. I think I Googled, how do I get happy? You know, all these silly things that you Google, because you think, well, Google will tell me.

Google tells me everything. Um, and anyway, in the research, I came across, that is gratitude. And I thought, okay, this sounds really stupid, but I'll give it a go. So then I Googled,  How do you practice gratitude? I was literally Googling anything, journal, what questions do I ask myself when I'm journaling?

And it took me a long time to actually be able to sit there and look around me and be able to say three things. That's what I said to myself, say three things that I've been grateful for today. And it took me a long time to actually be able to find anything. And part of that problem was because I was looking for big things.

I was looking for something that smacked me in the face and said, wow, you're lucky bugger. You know,  So good that you've just had that. But eventually I started to write little things down, you know, like This cute little old man, you know, smiled at me as I was walking down the street and it really made me smile because he just looked really cute.

And I thought, I want to be like that when I'm old, you know, little things like that started to, to come on to this, you know, gratitude journal that I did every day. And I stuck at it, even though it was bloody hard work at the beginning and I stuck at it and stuck at it. And eventually  that to me is the thing that changed or started to change my mindset in terms of.

Who I am and what I'm capable of and the fact that, you know, life can be okay and life can be good and life can be bloody amazing, but it was a real journey.  And then I stopped.  And the minute I stopped again, now I look back, I couldn't see it at the time,  is the minute that I started to go back into everything's pants, you know, nothing's good.

And don't get me wrong, I stopped, um, I stopped when Becky got poorly. Um, because suddenly, you know, Life's telling me there's nothing to be grateful for and I shouldn't have stopped because there was, you know, listening to your story, now I'm going to go,  you know, listening to your story. There's so many good things in the bad things, isn't there?

Um, but I've started again. Even when you've seen them though, you can't, in that moment, you can't see that that's a good thing that's happening. If you're not used to. Looking for the good, and it's only when you look back and you, you process and stuff, and you're like, do you know what, that conversation, oh.

Yeah, yeah, the silly little conversations that you were still having, because, you know, you did still have those silly conversations. Um, but now I've started again,  I can, I can feel it again, I can feel the energy shift, I can feel the, and it's, it's the simplest thing to do, isn't it? It doesn't have to be anything fancy.

Just grab a book or anything and just, even in your head, you don't have to write it down if you don't want to. I like to write down because I feel like it's achieved if it's written.  Um, but yeah, gratitude, journaling is a game changer for me. 

It's amazing. So I was reading just, I love scrolling Pinterest with the quotes because it just, I just love them.

And this morning it said, if we focus on the big things  only, We're going to miss all of the little things and it's the little things that make us, like what you've just said, you know, the more little things we can notice.  Like loads of little things becomes a big thing, imagine putting little drips of gratitude into your body or happiness throughout the day and by the end of the day.

You're just full of it, it's just so beautiful. But people think life changing things have to be big, but actually, something as simple as gratitude. Is so powerful on all levels, mind, body, and spirit. You know, whatever you believe in, it's scientifically proven that practice and gratitude improves your health, improves your mental health, improves your mood, you know, um, it affects relationships on a positive level.

There's so many benefits to just those little,  like, I thank you. Thank you for the water in my tap. Thank you for my clean knickers. Thank you for the food in my fridge. You know, thank you for this pen, because I just wrote a note down that I would have forgot. Thank you for my glass, so I can see. You can go on and on, and the more So I don't know if you know this, If you focus on something for 17 seconds, I think Esther Hicks talks a bit about this, but you can have a shift in energy and then you start magnetizing more things in.

So by focusing on something, so if you're focusing on gratitude, it actually has a, like,  a physical shift in your energy, um, and you start bringing more and more things in. And there's a little part of your brain,  um, called the RAS, the reticular activation system. So if you're saying, um,  it will basically support anything that you think.

So if you're thinking about all the bad things that happens to you, it's like, hang on, And it'll go through the files, and it'll be like, here's a bad thing, and here's a bad thing, and it'll pick more bad things out, and it's like shoving all the bad things out. Yeah, but if you focus in on the good,  it'll, it'll remind you of more good things.

So the more you think about something good, the more your mind will want to, um, support that that's the truth. So it'll remind you of other good things that have happened.  Um, it's, it's like when you look for a red car, or you're getting a red car, and you're thinking about a red car, and then you see them everywhere, because you're focusing on them.

It's just like that. Yeah. It's to be so easy though. It's like breathwork.  Nothing fancy, just sitting, breathing in for four, holding for two, breathing out for eight. Do that for nine rounds and you've regulated your nervous system. 

Yeah,  yeah. And I think it's all these things, isn't it, that  as business owners.

Because most people are listening to this are going to be business owners. Cause this is about, you know, business growth as well. It's, it's about personal growth. You've got to be in a good state of mind yourself, which is why I always talk about, you can't grow a business if you don't grow alongside it.

It's all of this stuff. When we're talking about personal growth, it's all of this. All of this stuff, it's not just about learning new skills, training in something different. That, that's, that's one set of, you know, developing yourself. But the other side is a hundred percent. It's working on your mind, isn't it?

It's getting yourself, um, you know, from a  mindset perspective, able to deal with the things that you were going to get thrown at you because that happens in business. Doesn't it? That happens in life too. Things get thrown at you that very easily do that thing you were just talking about going off into your, into your drawers and digging for the things that That reminds you that you're bad at launching or you're bad at putting sales out there or you're bad at doing all of this stuff.

You can't stand on stage because you fell over when you got on stage last time. You know, all of that stuff is going to come back out if you allow yourself to, to do it.  But just doing a teeny bit of gratitude, practice, breathing, meditation, whatever it is that works for you to get yourself into a point where you can bring the positive stuff in, it's going to make a massive difference to you, but it's also going to make a massive difference to your business.

My business knows when my mindset. is in the right state. The minute that things start to go a little bit, you know, diddly diddly with business, which they do, the first thing I always come back to 

is me.  And that's the missing piece though. This is what I'm seeing so much. I'm creating something in the background now because I see there's so many strategy courses and sales courses and everything, and you can do all of those.

But if you're not right within you, if you don't know how you feel or how to make a decision or, you know, just honor your energy, do you know what it feels like when you're about to burn out? What does stress look and feel like for you? And then the coping mechanisms, but also your body and the magic, you know, of,  of just like, Spirituality turns a lot of people off because they think it's religious, but to me, spirituality is you understanding you at a soul level, like mind, body and soul.

So who are you? What do you love? Why do you love that? How do you feel when this happens? What, you know, digging and just getting to know and love yourself so much that you always put you first. So the minute, You start to get overwhelmed when you're working. You're like, I need five minutes. You get up, you go for a walk, you make yourself a cup of tea, put a song on, you have a little bop.

You might need to hug yourself, or do a meditation, or cry. You know, there's so many different things you can choose from, but those little teeny tools, you do one of them every hour.  You're going to be able to stay in that space. You're going to be able to work harder and longer, and you're going to have more creative downloads because you're connected to your soul and what you love, and you're going to find your own voice more rather than being like a cookie cutter of everybody else, because these are the ways that you've been shown.

And I'm not poo pooing it. We need that. We need the masculine. Foundations in our business of the how, but we also need the feminine creativity to be unique and to be like embody who you 

are. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm a business strategist and I could not agree more. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm a strange business strategist possibly because I talk about the fluffy stuff more than I talk about the strategy.

And cause I, I honestly believe that is one of the key foundations of, of business growth. Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. Yes. Love that. Anyway, we could literally talk all day. But we haven't bet it. I've just realized it's 11. 11. So now is the perfect time. My number, my number, um, now is the perfect time, Nikki, for you to share with us a top tip for our listeners. 

Oh God. Um, trust yourself.  Always listen to that first initial nudge, whether it's a yes or a no, and sometimes we'll ignore it because it's not the answer that we want it to be. But how many times have you had the feeling,  ignored it, and then gone, fucking hell, I knew that.  I should have listened. Like we, our energy does not lie.

So if I could give anybody one piece of advice, it's trust that initial gut feeling that you get when you're making decisions because your energy speaks  first. Your subconscious always speaks first.  

Love that. So if any of our listeners want to learn more about what you do, where's the best place for them 

to connect with you? 

So I am on Facebook as Nikki Kinsella and Instagram as Nikki Kinsella, blue tick because I've been hacked. So make sure you get the blue tick one. Um, and my website is nikkikinsella. com.  And my book is on Amazon, The Feminine Energy Guide, if you want to have a little nosy of that. And my new book's coming out on the 13th of September.

Oh, fabulous, exciting, exciting. All of the links and everything will be shared in the show notes anyway. Um, but thank you so much for joining me. It has been so, so lovely chatting with you.  I just love you. I love you too. Right. So everybody else for listening. We will see you next time.

You have been listening to Dream Business Dream Life with Emma Hine. If you want to know more about how I can help you to build your dream business and your dream life, then visit my website emmehine.co.uk. Until next time remember you really can have it all!