E16: My 50th Birthday Reflections

Tomorrow I turn 50 and I have been reflecting alot on the last 50 years.

Fifty...how did that even happen?

So in this episode I share with you my 3 main learnings on the hope that you can take something from them that will prevent you from making the same mistakes I have made.

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Transcript

Hello & welcome to Dream Business Dream Life, helping ambitious people, like you, to grow a business they love.

 I’m Emma Hine and I’m on a mission to show you that it is possible to grow a business without sacrificing your life.

 Having experienced the rollercoaster of making millions of pounds, but feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and totally unsuccessful, I know first-hand the importance of growing a business on your terms.

 On this podcast I'm going to share with you lots of tips and advice that will enable you to grow a business that gives you the financial freedom to live the life of your dreams while sharing with you some inspirational growth stories from other fabulous business owners.

 Ready to live the dream? Then let’s get stuck in…

Hello & Welcome to today’s episode of Dream Business Dream Life.

So tomorrow I will be celebrating my 50th birthday…I mean how did that happen, I still feel 21 although my body, my grey hair and wrinkles often reminds me I’m not.

I really don’t mind getting older…age is just a number, right?

But turning 50 has really given me a bit of a kick up the bum; it has pushed me into really reflecting on life, reflecting on where I have been and more importantly reflecting on where I still want to go.

So today I thought we could explore this a little more and hopefully some of my thoughts and findings will help you to make the most of your life too.

 I am not here to play small anymore.

 I am not here to just plod along and get by.

 I am not here to see where life takes me, I am here to take myself where I want to go.

 This podcast is called Dream Business Dream Life because I honestly believe you can have both.

 I have shared my story a million times and I will share it a million times more because I honestly believe by sharing it, I am helping others to see where I went wrong and more importantly the lessons I learnt along the way.

 Had I not experienced the things I have experienced I don’t think I could help people in the way I do right now.

So there really are no regrets for me but there would be if I had carried on the way I was.

 Working crazy long hours.

 Suffering with very low self-esteem and poor mental health.

 Just surviving!

 If that resonates with you and right now you feel like you are just surviving then know that you are not alone, but also know that you can change that, you can start to thrive again.

 You can live that dream life and grow that dream business…I know because I would not be here recording this podcast if I had not done that exact thing.

 This time 4 years ago I could not see a way out, I could not even begin to imagine my life ever being any different.

 But that was the problem…I could not see it and I did not believe it was possible.

 So, I kept going and going until I reached the point of, I cannot go anymore.

 I don’t want that for you, I want you to see that although right now whilst you may feel overwhelmed, overworked and like you are just wasting your life there is change coming, but you have to let it come, you have to trust the process and you have to believe it is possible!

 So let me highlight some of my 50th birthday reflections.

 First up…relationships.

 Over the last 50 years people have come and gone in my life, but it was not until very recently that I realised I get to choose who is in my life. 

 I get to choose who I spend my time with, and I get to choose the people I work with.

 I do not have to put up with people because they are people that I need to be around, be them family, friends or business acquittances’.

 It is absolutely ok to close down relationships that make you feel uncomfortable.

 It is ok to choose not to be in someone’s world anymore because they do not light you up.

 The last thing you need is people in your life that drag you down.

 Life is short and life is precious so the people you spend that time with matter. They make a huge difference to how much you enjoy life, and they make a huge difference to your business and personal growth too.

 Over the last 12 months I have really curated who I spend my time with, I no longer care who I should be connected with, I just connect with the people that make me feel good.

 And honestly it is the best thing I have ever done.

 A small, curated group of people that cheer lead you, lift you up and allow you to just be you is much better than a big group of people who bitch behind your back and drop you the minute a better prospect comes along.

 So, lesson one is to surround yourself with the right people.

Then there is business. 

 I started my first business in March 2006, so I would have been 31 at the time, that in itself was a huge eye opener, nearly 20 years being my own boss yet I am only just beginning to feel like I am actually my own boss.

 That is madness, right?

 But I see it a lot and maybe you feel it right now too.

 So many people start a business as they want to be less tied, more in control of their life, freer yet so many go and create another job for themselves but this time with the added stress of being the boss.

 I mean when you are the boss, it all stops with you, the strategy, the marketing, the sales, the team, the systems, the cock ups and of course the pressure to get it right. 

There is no tech team to ring when systems crash.

 There is no marketing team to create your content.

 There is no sales team out there pitching for you.

 When you start a business; it is just you, wearing all those hats yet quite often the income is similar to that you earned in your day job and for that you worked less hard.

 Starting a business is a huge and exciting decision but it is super important not to get lost in that initial excitement, not to get pulled into the work hard and you will get there mentality.

 You may get there but at what cost?

 For me the cost was me, my mental health, my happiness and my overall priorities in life. I made decisions that were based on something I did not even want.

 My mistake, well one of them I made a lot was not allowing myself to be the CEO of that business from day one.

 Yes of course, I had to wear all the hats at the beginning, but I should have been more intentional with the strategy.

 I should have let go of tasks sooner and I should have invested in my own personal growth as well as the financial growth of the business.

 I should have been more in control of what was going on.

 Which leads me nicely onto the biggie, the regrets. 

Now I always say, and I think I have already said it today, I have no regrets but being able to say that has been one hell of a journey.

 There are plenty of mistakes I have made that would have led to a completely different journey if I had not made them and I have time and time again old myself that I regret it.

 But I realised that by seeing these things as regrets I was holding myself back, I was telling myself I would make the same mistakes again and I was simply reinforcing the self-doubt I already had.

 When we lost Becky last year my head went straight into regret mode, what I should have done, what I should have said, how I should have been a different mum, how I did not get to take Becky to New York or to get more photos of the two of us together.

 But I cannot change any of that stuff and so it is not helpful for me or anyone else if I wallow in what I could have done differently.

Over the years I have wasted 100’s of thousands of pounds, I could not even begin to work out how much and until very recently I regretted that, I wished I had done things differently.

 I have also made bad investments, bad choices with how to spend money and I have walked away from things that I should have gone all in for…just because I couldn’t be bothered, or I was not letting anyone advise me.

 But I realised that by regretting this stuff and by focussing on the money I have wasted or the opportunities I have missed out on I am allowing myself to tell myself I am bad with money.

 It took me 2 years to even trust myself to make any sales within this business as I was so afraid I would cock it all up again.

I was obsessed with the fact that money did not make me happy and that I was rubbish at managing it.

 The minute I stopped regretting how I had handled money in the past was the minute this business started to grow financially and with financial growth comes more impact on other people’s lives and that is why I do this.

 So, for me my biggest reflection for my 50 years on this planet has been around how I think about the mistakes I have made, how I no longer regret anything.

 Instead, I take it all as learning and I make sure that moving forward I don’t do it again.

 I don’t just learn; I change and implement. 

 Now I could sit here and talk to you about my 50the birthday reflections all day as honestly there has been so much, but I think for today I will leave you with those 3 key pieces of information.

 Surrounding yourself with the right people is essential.

 Be the CEO of your business.

 No regrets, just lessons!

 This time next week my first podcast in my 50’s will come your way but for now thank you for listening; see you next time…

You have been listening to Dream Business Dream Life with Emma Hine. If you want to know more about how I can help you to build your dream business and your dream life, then visit my website emmehine.co.uk. Until next time remember you really can have it all!